"I thought I broke my vagina bone.. it was terrible." **

This sucks.

Simply put.

Maybe two challenges in a row was a bad idea. I’ve been doing this since January and it’s starting to get old. Not so much the dieting and exercise thing, but the competing thing. Lately I feel all bored with it and I’m pretty sure it’s not just me. People aren’t weighing in every week. Some people are gaining and losing the same pound over and over again. Dieting is hard of course, staying motivated is even worse. The majority of us seem to have hit a mid challenge slump… a rut if you will… and then of course some of us got nice and comfortable in that rut during week one and have been lying there waiting it out ever since.

Like I said: This sucks.

Personally, I put a whole lot of pressure on myself to do just as well during this challenge as I did in the first one and I guess I didn’t really take into consideration that the first 20 pounds might just be the easiest, and as you go along it probably gets a little more difficult. So when you combine that with a lack of motivation, and an overall feeling of just plain suck, you get these less than stellar results. Seven pounds in seven weeks.

!!!

BULLSH*T! I’m calling bullsh*t on myself right now. There is no real excuse for my lackluster progress. I’ve recently become obsessed with sewing. I borrowed my mother’s machine on a whim and now I’m addicted. It’s pretty bad. I’m talking about staying up until 1 a.m. working on a project, then getting up at 6 a.m. and then skipping morning exercise so that you can work on sewing some more before work. Then, at night, you’re so tired from not getting enough sleep that you decide not to go for your normal couple mile walk in the park, and instead stay up until 1 a.m. again sewing. I’ve become a sort of recluse as well. I’ve been leaving the house to go to the fabric store… and that’s almost it.

Oh of course there are other things going on here, it’s not just that sewing is the new best thing ever, there’s some personal stuff going on that I won’t bore you with. I’m working through it the best I can, but it’s negatively effecting all my best intentions.

Obviously this is (at least) part of the reason I’ve been so wrapped up in the sewing. It’s very soothing, it occupies my mind for hours at a time so I’m not hanging out thinking about how messed up things are. You know how when you’re freezing your blood stops supporting your extremities so much and focuses on the important stuff? Or how certain devices have a power save mode? It’s limited functionality, but it’s for a good reason. This is where I’m at.

I’d like to claim that this is the end. That I’m putting my size 8 1/2 , tattooed foot down and taking charge of my downward spiral, but right now it’s not exactly possible. I need to keep with this simplicity for a while so that I don’t end up standing in traffic in my bathrobe trying to lasso cars with a garden hose.

You have to know your limits, right?

In other news: I went tanning the other day. Actually, I got “the cocktail” as the very tan (and very friendly) girl behind the counter informed me. All that means is that I went tanning for 12 minutes and then got a spray tan. Something inside of me snapped on Saturday when I was once again presented with my completely uneven skin color. Tan shoulders and arms, stark white shoulder strap lines, and so-white-that-you-can’t-look-directly-at-me everything else. Of course I was worried that I’d end up Jersey Shore orange, but it actually worked out really good… well, it looks good. The color is fine, but thankfully I got that spray tan because it hides the fact that most of my white parts (minus my legs of course) are burned. Without the spray tan I’d be tan on top, and bright red everywhere else.

Anyways, I hope you all are feeling better than I am lately. Hope your motivation is strong and your ass is shrinking, also that your dietary limitations don’t make you want to drive screaming through a crowded shopping mall.



** quote from Snooki of Jersey Shore