I Will Pioneer Bacon Therapy.

I don’t usually watch regular TV anymore. My complete inability to pay attention, combined with how ridiculously angry reality television makes me, and the complete flood of every network with obnoxious commercials has made it so that I watch 97% of all my television via Netflix or Hulu. The other 3% is in the morning while I’m getting ready for work and I watch an episode and a half of Reba on Lifetime. I love that show.

So not my point though.

Yesterday I was working on a new dress in the sweat shop conditions of my living room and while plugging in my computer I happened upon the Dr. Oz show. I’ve heard my parents talk about him before, but honestly I have no idea who the guy is or why people are supposed to pay attention to him.

So yesterday he and some guy were talking about something called the Four Hour Diet. It was interesting enough for me to watch the whole segment, and then feel the need to inform all you people about it. Now, obviously I have no idea how true any of this stuff is, but it’s always good to try new things.

Here’s a link to the information from yesterday’s show.

If you read the article in the link above you’ll see he talks about three ways to boost fat loss.

1)      Ice Therapy. Basically if you’re cold your body burns more calories than if it’s warm, performing the same tasks. This sort of makes sense I guess. It’s like how drinking ice water is better because you’re body has to work harder to warm it up. Now, I’m not really up for an ice bath but apparently using ice packs will make a significant difference. The best place to put them is on your shoulders, back of your neck, and along your collar bone. You should read up on this, but I’m pretty sure he was saying that doing this twice a day (am/pm) for 30 minutes will bump up fat loss and calories burned.

2)      Protein. You should eat 30 grams of protein within 30 minutes of waking up. In my recent experience bumping up protein consumption can help break through a weight loss plateau, so I’m inclined to think this one is pretty true. Also, we all know that eating a good breakfast is a great way to jumpstart your metabolism. If you’re not eating breakfast, and you’re not losing weight the way you want you should really think about adding it to your routine.

3)      Pig Out Once A Week. That’s a beautiful bunch of words all put together like that, isn’t it? To me is makes total sense. I’ve been doing that since I started dieting and I’ve had really good results so far. It’s like giving your body and your mind a break, or a present. It makes it easier to stick to your diet the rest of the time because you’re not trying to deny yourself the things that you want. I’m sure it does something for resetting your metabolism too. A lot of diets suggest that you aim for a different calorie goal every day so that your body doesn’t settle into a routine, which would slow down your metabolism causing sluggish weight loss. So maybe you don’t need to be like me and eat an entire pizza once a week**, but your diet doesn’t have to be a prison.

So that’s it. That’s what I learned yesterday. This morning I got bacon on my egg white flatbread, but that’s nowhere near the 30 grams of protein within 30 minutes of waking up that the diet suggests. I’m going to need to start making myself eggs for breakfast I guess. The other good thing about the protein bit is that if you’re consuming that much protein that early in the morning you’re less inclined to hit that midday slump, or the ravenous, almost zombie-like, hunger around noon time which leads a lot of people to overeating or snacking.

Let’s face it, eating fucking salads as a whole meal sucks! While it may get rid of that hungry feeling for a while, it doesn’t last long enough, and it always leaves you feeling incomplete. Some people have a god shaped hole, or a hole the size of the daddy that walked out on them… NOT ME! I’ve got a bacon shaped hole people, and it’s time to stuff that baby full of meat.

Yes…yes….I knew it sounded wrong when I wrote it.

**Sad as it sounds, I can no longer eat almost an entire pizza. I can do maybe half right now, at best.

Have a good day everyone!