So far I’m down a total of 26.3 pounds. I know that sounds like a lot, but honestly I only occasionally notice that I look different. Of course I take my measurements and I’ve lost upwards of two inches pretty much all over, so that’s pretty hard to ignore. I’m back into all my old jeans (and some of those are too big), and my work clothes are all ridiculously too big… I have to use like three safety pins to keep my pants up now.
BUT I DON’T FEEL THAT DIFFERENT!! I’ve been trying to hold off on doing any real clothes shopping until the end of the summer because I’m still really only at the halfway point with my losing, but of course I’ve broken down and done it a few times. I needed a decent pair of jeans, and just one pair of work pants that didn’t look like I’d selected them completely at random from the salvation army. Now when I go shopping it takes me a really long time because I always grab the wrong sizes, and when they don’t fit I’m confused and I have to go back out and get a different size, and then when that one is still too big I have to go back and get the next size down. My brain refuses to catch up with my body. How do I update my body image? Hopefully it happens naturally, because wouldn’t it be terrible to work so hard to get healthy and in shape but your stupid broken brain keeps showing you the same old chub every time you look in the mirror? What’s that called? Body dysmorphic disorder?