Lying is the most fun a girl can have with her clothes on.

Today I’m being a responsible dieter.

Responsible for me may be a little different than for the rest of you, but that’s beside the point.

Anyways, I’ve got plans to meet up for dinner tonight at The Outback Steakhouse right next to my work so I’ve gone online and using their interactive nutritional tool (which is actually pretty neat) I’ve already planned out what I’m going to order and worked it all out with my calorie goal for today. That’s the responsible part.

Now here’s the iffy part…

I find myself saying, “Well, if I eliminate the salad then I could have a beer or two with dinner.” Which is fine I guess, but it lead me to do some nutrition research on a couple of Australian beers which then lead me to an article about alcohol and weight loss. This is where I get a little confused. I’ve read this same fact a few different times now and it always makes me pause for a moment. Your body processes alcohol differently than other things. It will use the calories from the alcohol first, which means that while you’re drinking your body basically stops burning fat. Doesn’t sound too bad, right? In my head that means that you can drink a bunch with no guilt because your body is just going to burn it all up first, and then when it’s done with that it will move on to burning all that leftover food stuff.

It’s only because I enjoy drinking so much that I tell myself these silly lies. What I should be realizing is that by the time your body gets around to burning the calories from the food you ate you’re quite possibly already passed out cold in your bed, on your front porch, or in the back seat of a car that may or may not be halfway to Mexico.

Show me the person that after a long night of drinking goes for a five mile run.

Also, we must consider what drinking does to your reasoning skills. You’re no longer thinking things like:

·        I should get up early tomorrow morning and do yoga.

·        I’m proud of how dedicated I am to eating healthy and losing weight.

·        I’ll get a regular sized light beer instead of the three foot tall beer special.

·        I really should buy some more nonfat cottage cheese.

·        I’ll order a nice piece of fish instead of a big greasy burger and fries.

·        I should get home early and get a good night’s sleep.

Oh no, a couple drinks in and your thought process focuses less on your health, and more on things like:

·        I wonder if there are free peanuts or snack mix on the bar.

·        Did someone say shots?

·        There can’t be calories in gin. It's clear!

·        I’ll have the chocolate explosion dessert please.

·        Let’s order pizza when we get home!

·        I’d better eat a bunch of bread to absorb all this alcohol.

·        I hit my head on the ceiling while dancing on the bar.

·        I could probably fight that guy and win.

·        No on can hear me, I’d better talk REALLY LOUD.

·        Let’s order mozzarella sticks too!

·        How did I get in the trunk of this car?

See what I’m saying?

The moral of the story is that drinking isn’t great for you, and it’s especially not great if you’re trying to lose weight. So if you’re going to drink make sure you do it on an empty stomach so that you don’t have to worry about your body not getting around to burning off those pesky calories you got from a healthy dinner. J