Recently I’ve been finding myself less and less impressed with what I’m looking at every day. It’s not that I feel ugly or unattractive, it’s just that I’m bored. I’m bored with looking at my own stupid face every day.
“So,” you may be wondering, “why not make a change? Why not just shut the hell up and do something about it?”
I’m getting to that part, if you’d just calm down for a minute.
Next I’d like to say that I love makeup. When I say love, I mean LOVE. I always have. I’ve been able to accurately put lipstick on without a mirror since I was four. I love that I can sit down at my makeup table and change my whole face. This is me, I get bored easily, so things like makeup, hair dye, and scissors are near and dear to my heart. I wear makeup every day, I cut my own hair (impulsively most of the time which doesn’t always work out well), and in the past I’ve changed my hair color sometimes a couple times a month (which leads to damage, but that’s a different topic altogether).
Now this boredom thing: Lately I’m bored. Nothing I’m doing seems to give me much satisfaction with my reflection. I feel like no matter how many layers I put on, or how many different colors, or techniques I try I’m just bored. I’ve realized that wearing makeup has become such a huge part of my daily routine that I no longer feel comfortable without it, and what’s even worse than that is somewhere along the line I started actually disliking how my own bare face looks. This, I think we can all agree, is totally wrong.
The other day I was sitting in front of the mirror getting ready for work when it hit me that the change I needed was no change at all. I needed to stop covering myself up and re-learn to appreciate. I needed to take the chisel to my face and get rid of everything I wasn’t born with.
This was my new challenge: As many days as possible without a stitch of makeup, and then minimal makeup if you must wear any at all (I'm not an animal after all, or a feminist, or a hippie. I will occasionally need to wear some makeup). Do this until you’re comfortable in your own skin again. In other words: Get your fucking life together; we’re not in high school anymore.
(I didn't take a picture, but I assure you it looks pretty much exactly like day one)
Now I've never been one to suffer much from insecurity, of course I have my things just like everyone else but it's never really been a huge problem for me. I look like my mom and she's one of the most beautiful women ever, so like I said, not usually a problem. I took a couple days with no makeup and I was actually surprised at how little time it took for me to get comfortable in the mirror again. It was awkward at first of course, sometimes I forget how fair skinned I am, but it was a relatively easy transition. I mean, I'm thirty years old, I should at least be comfortable with my face by now.
So today I'm not bare-facing it, but I am only wearing translucent powder, a dab of yellow concealer under my eyes (I'm tired), and some mascara. And in the words of my dearest friend Neil:
" Bitch please, you're gorgeous."